Oscar Wrap Up

Last weekend was the Oscars, which, as I explained to Mr. Big, is like the superbowl of fashion. I gather chips, snacks, cocktails, and settle in on the sofa for a full afternoon and evening of star gazing. Yes, I watched every pre-show (and even the E! pre-preshow). The red carpet walks, and the entire awards show. Forget who won best sound editing or best foreign short film – the real winners and losers that night were the stylists! So, here are my Oscar fashion awards 2009:


Best Accessories on a Supermodel



Heidi Klum
Anyone else may not have been able to pull this off, but I love the multitude of bling on Heidi’s arm!

Best Use of Geometric Shapes to Confuse Paparazzi



Amy Adams
As if the red and black geometric thing warring with the fussy gauze drape weren’t enough, that necklace looks so heavy, I’m surprised she can stand upright. (Especially considering she probably hasn’t eaten anything in days to squish herself into that dress!)


Best It’s-Not-A-Baby-Bump-It’s-a-Belly-Bulge



Whoopi Goldberg
What was she thinking? Okay, I get that not everyone in Hollywood has to be a size two. And, as we get a little older, bellies aren’t always washboard-flat. But … it’s gauzy leopard!


Best Human Rainbow Maker



Anne Hathaway
This was probably my favorite gown of the evening. Very simple structure, not a lot of fuss, but shimmery and glitzy enough to definitely say “I deserve an Oscar!”


Best Wallflower



Beyonce
Please tell me she didn’t just make a dress out of the curtains.


Best Couple I Wanna Be When I Grow Up



Brangelina
Elegant, understated, yet surprisingly graceful. Even though I have to hate Angelina just a little for looking that fabulous after having twins.

Best Pose



Evan Rachel Wood
How long do you think she practiced that hand-on-hip thing in the bathroom mirror?


Best Bed Sheet Masquerading as a Gown



Jessica Biel
Tell me this doesn’t look like she just wrapped a bed sheet around her mid section a couple times and called it a day. And the messy, flay-away hair does nothing to convince me she didn't just come from some all nighter at the motel across the street.


Best Use of Leftover Fabric



Marisa Tomei
This dress looks like they got to the end, realized they way over purchased on fabric, and just kept pleating. And pleating. And pleating…


Best Dead Animal



No, I’m not talking about Mickey Rourke (though, by the looks of him, he almost qualifies…), but his beloved dog, Loki, a pictures of whom Mickey wore around his neck all evening.

Best Cleavage



Sara Jessica Parker
For a girl with cups at the way beginning of the alphabet, she makes the most of them. And by that grin on Ferris Bueller’s (I mean, Matthew Broderick’s) face, I’d say he approves.


And last but not least…

Best Attempt to Shove Body into a Gown Two Sizes Too Small



Penelope Cruz
I love, love, love this gown, and would totally have sucked it in, too, in order to wear it. But, it was clear in every interview she gave that Penelope might look hot, but she couldn’t actually breath. (Just check the pinched expression here!) I seriously thought she was going to hyperventilate when she went up to accept her Oscar.

Anyone else have favs or faux pas to report?


~Trigger Happy Halliday

Keeping it in the Family

I've blogged about my family before--much to their chagrin, I expect. I consider myself supremely fortunate in the children I have been blessed with. They're are amazing people--and even though 3/4 of them are triplets, each are wonderfully different and individually awesome.

The trips and I enjoy a number of shared activities. Games, movies, long walks, food, the outdoors, horses, God, family, apple pie, chocolate, and so on...

It's particularly gratifying, too, when a shared interest brings you closer together. Such is the case with my son, Erick. Yeah, the kid who got his car sideswiped several weeks back and is still waiting on the insurance settlement. Poor guy.

Anyway, Erick has always had a gift for art and drawing. He also is a very capable writer, winning a prestigious writing contest sveral years ago sponsored by the Veteran's Administration. Erick is studying graphic design and studio arts. He is also my web-designer. He has designed every website I've had and under the auspices of his 'SwankyStudios', he is currently developing a new website design for KathyBacus.com, as well as new ones for several new writing personas/projects I'm working on.

In addition, Erick and I are embarking on another project. We are collaborating on a series of children's books! I will provide the text (with Erick's input) and Erick will provide the illustrations. (The only thing I'm capable of drawing is a horse.) We're both very excited about the concept and are very much enjoying the process involved in the conception, planning and development of the idea. We're really looking forward to the actual pencil to paper aspect of the creative process, as well. But beyond this is the creative give and take we get to experience as we bounce ideas off each other seeking to put together this ambitious project.

I'm hopeful for a pretty nifty outcome. But I realize the real reward is the time we share during our 'book talks' and the enduring memories we make.

And if we make a few bucks from our joint venture?

All the better.

~Bullet Hole Bacus~

And You Thought I Was Weird...

I'll be the first to admit it - I have a real weakness for squeezy stress toys. I've got it bad. And the only place you can get them is through some company giveaway. I'm down to zero right now and I'm in need of a fix.

Which is why I was trolling the net the other day, checking out business catalogs looking for squeezy things. Why can't you just buy them? You can't! Not unless you want to buy at least one thousand or more and slap a logo on it. I think I only wrote books so I'd have a reason to buy a gross of promotional squeezy toys.

Anyway, I came across this site that had some really cool promotional stuff. But the further I got drawn into it, the weirder the squeezy stress thingys. I was so impressed, I thought I'd share a few with you. And yes, these are actual squeezy stress relievers. I am NOT making this up. (I'm not even sure I could.)

This is the perfect stress reliever for those people who have:

A) Never given up hope that the Earth is flat...at least in places

B) Watched too much "Roly Poly Oly" with their kids and have left reality as we know it

C) Overly zealous fans of Bizarro Superman...nuff said

If you are a follower of my blog, you will know why this one, a Hypothyroid Gland, is my favorite. If not, you probably will just think I'm very, very odd.

Now, this one is the perfect stress reliever if you really, really hate Easter Island. And what's really interesting about that, is there must actually be people like that since this is an actual promotional item in actual promotional catalogs. (All I know is, I'm gonna have to set a future book there so I can get a bunch of these made up!)

This is the actual brain of that guy who wears the rainbow wig at the football game. Apparently he is so unbelievably irritating that they made this squeezy stress toy in his honor. I totally get that.

This one is interesting. It is a prostate gland squeezy toy. And if it isn't stupid enough to just have a prostate gland as a stress reliever, they went and cut it open because they thought it was too dull to depict a whole one. And by the way, I KNEW there were seeds in there! I just knew it! And people called me crazy! Me!

And here it is. The piece de la resistance. A squeezy stress toy ass. And it's not even a whole one. It's like, only the ass cheeks. I guess I could understand an endocrinologist putting her name on a squeezy thyroid gland for her patients (and if you know of one who does, please send me their address because I need one). And I could justify a proctologist with a stress relieving cross section of a prostate gland. I guess. But what the hell is this?

I'm open to suggestions. Your thoughts?

The Assassin

Whispered Sweet Nothings

Contest: What has some man said to you that made your heart sigh, or made you snort in laughter? The most romantic and unromantic will win prizes.
Oh...Virginia and CrystalGB are both winners of an autographed copy of Would-Be Witch. Email me at website address. christie (@) christie-craig . com



February is the month of love, chocolate, roses and red undies. It’s the month of whispered sweet nothings that will melt your heart . . . or one-liners that send you running off, snorting your Dr. Pepper through your nose because of the need to laugh at some man’s obnoxious, underhanded attempt to get you naked.

God love ‘em. Sometimes I think men were created just to amuse us and offer us something to talk or blog about. But girls, we gotta stop being so hard on them. Seriously, we all know that men just don’t excel at showing their emotions and in most cases, they’re even worse at putting those emotions into words. Now, this doesn’t mean we should stop laughing at them, but just give ‘em a little break every now and then.

I’m not saying that some men aren’t champions at talking their way into a woman’s panties--men who whose sweet words are meant to melt the bra hooks right off of us. But even if they are hound dogs, wanting just one thing, you have to give ‘em credit. A man who knows how to liquefy a woman’s heart with a good line is a man who has worked at his craft. He knows what a woman wants and how to deliver. Well, the words anyway; why, just because a man can deliver a line, doesn’t mean he can really . . . deliver.

Nor am I saying that ALL sweet nothings are spoken with ulterior motives. Once in a while a man may just have something sweet to say. I’m not going to attempt to guess the odds of that really happening, but it does happen.

However, even a few verbally talented men with ulterior motives are worthy of our affection. Face it, there are decent men who care about us, but still want to get us naked. I won’t lie, this pretty much describes my hubby, and probably ever romance hero I’ve ever given life to in my novels.

In my next book, Gotcha!, released in June, Jake Baldwin is always putting his foot in his mouth. And my heroine Macy is surprised he hasn’t lost a tonsil as he swallowed the dang thing. Like the time Macy, who is determined not to fall for Jake, tells the half-naked hero, “I’m not sleeping in this bed with you with only a thin pair of cotton boxers between me and your best friend.”

Jake just grins and says, “He could be your best friend, too.”

Macy’s always accusing Jake of being crude and God love that man but he thinks it’s a compliment. (And for that matter, don’t most men?)

Ahh, but you gotta love Jake, and Macy does. Why? Well, if we’d be completely honest with ourselves, we’d admit that we all would like our man to want to get us naked. We just want them to express it in a loving, less crass, from-the-heart manner. And to express it when we want them to express it—with the right words--and after they’ve taken out the trash and told us how special we are. (Hey, it doesn’t mean we’re difficult, we just know what we want.)

Why, my hubby has said a few things to me through the years that left me thinking I’d marry that man again in a snap. Then there are the times when I start to think that, but he goes and says/does something else that has me questioning if men and women aren’t two different species and should never hook up.

For example, this past week, the day before Valentine’s Day, he asks me out right. “Baby, you are so good to me. You name what you want for Valentine’s Day and it’s yours.” I think about it and tell him I want a coupon for $250 to use as a shopping spree before I go to upcoming writing conferences. He nods and says, “It’s yours.”

But when I get the homemade coupon, it reads. “To my love, $250 to use as you so see fit—and if you want to use it for bills or groceries, that’s okay, too.”

Ahh, but let me tell you, he’s said some very romantic things to me, too. Some of them have even brought a tear to my eye. About a month a go hubby came in and said he’d read something online that appeared in Women’s Health magazine that was so true " Every man wins the lottery when he gets a woman to love him" Hubby shot me a sweet smile and said, “I won the lottery.”

Just last night, Hubby came in and gave me a hug. It was a little tighter and lasted a little longer than usual. When he let go, he said, “When I pulled into the driveway, I saw our neighbor pull into his. When I got out of the car to walk into my house, I saw our neighbor walking into his. And it occurred to me that my homecoming was going to be heck of a lot sweeter than his.”

My neighbor’s wife died last week. Damn! I got a tear in my eye, both for my neighbor and for knowing hubby was genuinely happy I was here.

Yup, every now and then my man knows the right thing to say and do—not that he doesn’t manage to screw up sometimes. A couple of weeks ago when I read him my Valentine’s blog about what love was to me, the man cried. Seriously, he had tears in his eyes. My heart swelled with emotion, then he said, “Hey, you want to go upstairs? I have a rooster I want you to meet.”

I gaped at him. “That was so crude! How could…how could you say something so crass when you just got tears in your eyes at something sweet I wrote?”

His answer, “Well, that’s why I said it. You threatened my masculinity when you made me tear up, and I figure this helps me get it back.”

MEN! Can you see how all my heroes are created in his likeness?

Okay, so there you have it. What has your man said to melt your heart? What has he, or any man, said to you that made you snort Dr. Pepper through your nose?

I’ve got prizes for the most romantic sweet nothing and then the most unromantic. Both winners can choose from one of my novels, or if you have all those, I’m offering up Colleen Thompson’s novel, Head On or Gerry Bartlett’s novel, Real Vampires Get Lucky. Plus, there’s a little something extra. So, come on, play along.



Crime Scene Christie

Stupid Bosses

I promised you stupid bosses, and I don't want to fail to deliver. If you remember my post about stupid interviews, well that boss is also one of the most idiotic people I have ever worked for. Let's take a couple of minutes to talk about "David." David was the only person left after the merger of four companies that hadn't gotten a promotion to management yet, so they gave him one. Awful for his employees as he's not really qualified to manage anything including himself. David had to be the most inefficient person in the entire world and he spent most of his time assigining work then taking you off when you were halfway through and assigning you to something else. Now, with accounting, that's a HUGE waste of time. That means someone else has to "recreate" in their mind everything you've already done or start over or YOU have to recreate it in your mind when you pick it up again a week later. Accounting is not like doing a puzzle. You can't just pick up where you left off and everything's fine.

So he wasted our time all the time. We had this joke among the staff that he didn't even scratch his head efficiently. He had this reach over move that looked just like a monkey - yep, if he was scratching the left side of his head, he did it with his RIGHT hand. Picture it - right arm all the way over the top of the head, scratching the left side. Now do you get the monkey comment? One of the employees said one time she wondered how he scratched his _____ - from behind? (you get the idea)

In addition to many other issues, like asking you to specifically describe what was wrong with you when you called in sick (he stopped that one after the pregnant girl described something hanging out of her butt), and picking his nose and wiping the boogers on the underside of his desk, David would also do things like come down to the cafe when we were all eating and ask things like "can I sit with you, or are you talking about me?" To which I would always reply, "it's our lunch hour, David, why would we waste it talking about you?"

Fortunately, David was fired...but not for incompetence, or grossness, or even asking people personal questions about their bodily functions. No, David was fired for stealing a key to the VP's desk and going through his records one Saturday because he was afraid the other managers might be getting paid more than him. Another manager caught him, reported him to HR, and the rest is history. The real kicker - he was making MORE than the other managers.

Next week, I'll tell you about the VP and his ridiculous 2:00 am toilet bowl episode.

So what about you - stupid boss story to share?

Deadly DeLeon

Kimberly Frost

Winner, Winner, Winner!

Virginia and CrystalGB are both winners of an autographed copy of Would-Be Witch.

Email me, CC, at my website christie (@) christie-craig ( . )com with your snail mail address and I'll pass it along to Kimberly.


A big Texas welcome to Kimberly Frost who is giving away a copy of her book to one lucky poster today. Guys, I haven't read it yet, but I bought this book because I've heard so much praise about it. So make sure you post a comment. Take it away Kimber!

CC



Since childhood, the Would-Be Witch heroine of my Southern Witch series, Tammy Jo, has been told that she is not supposed to fraternize with anyone named Lyons. Unfortunately, the black-haired, blue-eyed wizard, Bryn Lyons, is the only person in town she can turn to for advice.
Here’s an abridged scene between Tammy Jo & Bryn:

“You’re wet and cold. I wouldn’t want you to catch pneumonia,” Bryn said, reaching for me again.
I slapped his hands away and stepped back. “Just a darn minute. Last I checked I could dress and undress myself.”
“Sure, but wouldn’t you be warmer if I helped?”
My jaw dropped open. I was in the middle of a crisis with people in a fever-coma. I was counting on Bryn Lyons to be my savior, not some normal red-blooded guy who noticed that frostbite had my nipples hard as arrowheads.
“Look, I’m in trouble.”
“Clearly.”
“And I didn’t come here for you to put your Urban Cowboy moves on me.”
He grinned and folded his arms across his chest. “Tamara—”
“It’s still Tammy Jo!” I snapped and pointed to the door. “Out.”
“Is this your house?” he asked with mock curiosity.
I scowled at him, which made him smile.
“I’ll be in the hall. Call me if there are any spots you can’t reach.”
I flicked him with the towel as he left.
There was no lock on the door, so the Indy 500 pit crews had nothing on me as I stripped. I wrapped myself in his plush monogrammed bathrobe and tossed my wet clothes in the oversized dryer. I pulled on the socks, feeling very vulnerable.
Outside, I found Bryn leaning against the wall waiting for me.
“You’re a lawyer, right?”
“Is this a trick question?”
“I need to hire you.”
“All right.” His eyes roamed over me from head to toe. “What would you like to give me as a retainer?”
About all I had left was tumbling on the high heat cycle, and somehow I had a feeling my bra and panty set wasn’t what Bryn had in mind since I wasn’t in them anymore.
“We’ll have to sort that out later.”
“Sounds promising.”
“Hey! I have a real problem here. Stop giving me the Sylvester the Cat look. I’m not Tweety. I need serious help.”
“I’m listening. Unlike some of the men in your life, my intelligence doesn’t disappear in the face of non-cognitive pursuits.”
I cocked my head.
“I can lust and think at the same time. Tell me your problem.”
I spilled the story.
“You need a counterspell,” he said.
“I don’t know one. And I’m afraid if I make one up, it’ll go wrong.”
“That’s a reasonable fear.”


In the comments section, please answer one OR both of the following questions for a chance to win an autographed copy of Would-Be Witch:

1.) Have you ever dated a guy your family disapproved of? If so, how did it turn out?

2.) If you could cast a magic spell, what would it be and why?

For more information and to read excerpts from the Southern Witch series, visit: http://www.frostfiction.com/

Warm Wishes,
Kimberly

Gemma Latest Fashion Accessory

Yes, even though this pic of me is a little blurry, that is exactly what you think it is – a baby bump. :) In an unexpected twist, it turns out that Mr. Big and I are expecting a little bundle of joy. She (everyone think pink here for me, ‘k?) should be making her appearance near the end of September, and I couldn’t be more excited.

As anyone who has been following my relationship with Big knows, this was a bit of a shocker. In fact, I’m pretty sure Big had at least three heart attacks when he found out. (I’m proud to say I only had two.) Remember that episode from "Friends" where Rachel tells Ross ‘we’re pregnant’? Yeah, it was kind like that. Wait, maybe I can even find a clip on youtube… Yay, I did! Okay, here it is. This is what it was like:



But, after the shock wore off, we both got super excited and, I’ll admit, I already have my entire cart at Target Baby filled with adorable little pink things. (So, if it’s a boy, he’s gonna have some issues later in life. Seriously, think girl thoughts.) And, I realized I need everything, because it’s been almost ten years since I last did the baby thing. Just long enough to have forgotten how uncomfortable being pregnant is. Let me just tell you, morning sickness bites. Especially when it’s morning, noon and night. And, how is it fair that, thanks to said morning sickness, I’ve lost five pounds, but my pants are already so tight I had to go buy maternity stuff? And I’m only two months along! Sigh.

So, if anyone has an advice for surviving early pregnancy, I’m all ears. (Or, if you have links to any baby sites full of cutsie little outfits, I’m collecting those as well!)



~Trigger (and baby) Happy Halliday