I should never, ever, post after a bottle of Mad Housewife Chardonnay, as evidenced by my premature post. Sorry to Christie! In my defence, we were eating caprese salads and my Mr. Assassin thought I should have some (a lot of) wine.
It was a strange week...and it's only Tuesday. As I look back over the past...um...2 days, I realize I've said some odd things to make the people I love consider institutionalizing me. Here's an example:
- "No, we can't go to Universal Studios to see the World of Harry Potter until 2022 at least. The line to get in can be seen from space!"
(I have no proof to back that up, btw.)
- "Jack canNOT be 10 already! I only had him a few years ago!"
(Jack is, in fact, 10. I did have him 10 years ago. I cannot defy the laws of physics and give birth to a 7 year old boy.)
- (to my 12 yr. old daughter) "Yes, when you are 18 I will kick you out of the house to go AWAY to college. It's for your own good."
(I may deny this in 6 years.)
- (to Mr. Assassin) "You want to do WHAT with canola oil and an ice cream scoop?"
(Okay, to be honest, I TOTALLY misheard him here.)
- "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! You turned off the funk! I want the funk! Turn on the funk!"
(I'm gonna rig my iPod to shock my kids when they touch it. Seriously. I need the funk.)
- (to Mr. A.) "I DID NOT sabotage the fuel pump on your car while you were in Iraq! I just never started, cleared off or drove it. Wait, is that bad?"
(Yes. That is bad. $500+ bad.)
The Assassin
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Ooops. Premature Exasperation.
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8 comments:
too funny!!
Yes, and unfortunately, all true. I have NO filter whatsoever.
Ironically, Hellie traveling to the land of Harry Potter as I type. I feel bad for any small children who might be in her way in the next few days. They really are taking their lives into their own hands.
I can't believe you didn't even start the car. What were you thinking?
My kiddo will be 11 in less than a month. She's starting middle school next year. HOW did this happen? (Did I mention she's already wearing my clothes?)
You're right...those kids are in trouble. An impassioned Hellie is a beautiful weapon.
I just never thought about it. It's stupid, I know.
My 12yr old starts middle school this fall too. She has started wearing my jewelry and using my makeup.
No makeup! She already looks three years older than she is. We're exactly the same height right now which means when she gets back from the summer with her dad, I'm going to have to look up to talk to her. So not looking forward to that.
How do they get so tall so quick? It's ridiculous!
My girls are both shorter than me (husband and I are same size although he denies it lol). The bad news is I would have loved to have worn all their clothes they determined were no longer "in". The good news was they didn't steal too many of mine lol.
That's funny! My mom is 5' and I'm 5'9." She dresses like a Mary Engelbright character (well, she did when I was in high school.)
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