So my friend, Michele, gets a Droid phone. And it's amazing, duh. She was showing me all the apps on there, including one that makes 3 different sounds that only dogs can hear. And get this, you have to PAY for that app. How slick is that? I mean there's no way to prove that it's a scam. You can't hear it but your dogs will. Hell, if I look at my pug, Lucy, and point a cell phone at her, she's gonna cock her head to one side.
So it got me thinking about the near future when I get MY Droid - what apps would be most beneficial to me. And here's what I came up with:
- Angry Mom App: This app would repeat what I say to my kids, twenty or thirty times, getting louder and more menacing each time. It would save that throbbing vein in my neck and my lovely signing voice.
- Dog Butt Cam App: There is a dog in my house (well, actually there are three) who has decided to make multiple "political statements" every other day - usually in my dining room. I'm pretty sure the big dog is innocent but the two small ones are suspect. Not only would this app find out who did it, but it would also zap the culprit with 150 volts of fury. Hopefully, you'd only need to use this once or twice.
- Juice Bag Straw Wrap Detector App: How difficult is it to throw the straw cellophane thingy away? Apparently, someone has threatened my children with death if they do because I have NEVER found one in the garbage can. No, I find them on the sofa, carpet, linoleum, bed sheets, toilet, shower, even in my underwear drawer. For this app, you'd be able not only to find the wrappers, but you'd also be able to scan for fingerprints. Maybe we should throw in the 150 volts of justice for this one too.
- Shoe and Purse Sale App: This app would let me know IMMEDIATELY when shoes and handbags are on sale for 50% off or more within a 100 mile radius. You think I'm joking. This is my favorite app.
So there you have it. I don't think I'm asking for too much. Just a few practical applications that would make my life a little bit easier.
What do you think?
The Assassin
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5 comments:
Totally want the shoe and handbag sale one. *LOL*
I can see where the Mom Voice app would be crucial.
I'd hope the dog butt one would work the first time...mainly because I'd think 150 volts in a small dog would kill it. But maybe they're hardier stock than I imagine.
I need an app that tells me when my preferred bookstores have actually STOCKED the new book I'm hunting all over town for. This app should also send annoying spam messages to those stores until they freaking STOCK the book like they're supposed on the day it comes out.
My boss got the DROID and has no idea how to use it. Turns out the thing was surfing the internet all day every day (like 2am on Sat/Sun morning!) and no one can tell us how.
What is it with those damn straw wrappers?! I would find those things EVERYWHERE! Though never in my undie drawer. Since we've left juice packs behind, we now argue over the string cheese wrappers.
What is it with those string cheese wrappers! Is there something about long and slender bits of plastic wrap that says "DON'T THROW ME AWAY"?
I'd want the laundry folding and putting away app. This would not only fold the clothes but hang them up and clear out the stuff for the thrift store once every three months.
You might be right Hellie. And Terri, I've found the string cheese wrappers in the dryer. They are just larger versions of the straw wrapper, I think
I'd love a nagging Mom app, or one that would send someone to the house to cook for me. Or put the laundry away.
Maybe I should just get a maid?
Hmmm...a laundry folding app. We might all have to go into business together.
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