I’m a firm believer in learning our lessons. I mean, if we don’t learn from our mistakes, then what’s the use in our making them, right? And yes, some lessons are those we have to repeat over and over before the light bulb comes on and we reach the amazingly intelligent conclusion of, “Duh.”
Okay, so I admit it, we at the Craig house have experienced our share of “duh” moments. Below are a few lessons we at the Craig house have learned over the years.
Hubby: Do not microwave a toothbrush. Yes, it sounds reasonable that to stick it in a cup of water and set the time on one minute might be sure to kill the germs and therefore save you from the $1.99 of having to purchase a new one every three weeks, but it doesn’t work.
Me: When hubby says he’ll fix something, insist he doesn’t. (Remember carpet cleaning and plumbing episodes. Remember tooth brush!)
Son: Do not microwave a whole egg. Yes, I know you want to prove mama wrong when I say you can’t do that, but when the egg explodes coating the microwave with scrambled egg, you’re going to be sorry.
Me: Never attempt to move a feline that is about to release a hairball. Believe it or not, there are worse places for a hairball to land other than where you thought it might end up.
Son: To clean a cell phone you DO NOT run it through the washing machine. To dry a cell phone, DO NOT run it through the dryer. In other words, check your dad-burn jeans before doing laundry!
Me: When son says, smell this, and has funny look on his face, don’t do it. When son says, taste this and has a green appearance in skin tone, don’t do it.
Son: Puking is not a team sport. Yes, when you were small, mama always held your head and kept a damp cloth to your brow during these times of needs. At eighteen, and with a man-size stomach, you are lucky if mom tosses a wet rag at you and says I hope everything comes out all right.
Son: Just because it’s in the refrigerator doesn’t mean it’s still edible. P.S. Refer to lesson above for reference.
Hubby: Never start whining about losing your glasses until after you check the top of your head.
Me: When bad odors are suddenly emitted into the air while in the car, don’t assume the obvious and think it will eventually fade, instead ask son if he just took off his shoes.
Me: Never attempt to wax my own eyebrows. (No explanation needed.)
Me: Always pay close attention to how you spell the word “public.” To remove the “l” from the word can change the entire meaning of a sentence. Especially if said sentence is being posted online where the world can read about it.
Son: Never ask your mom to cut your hair when she’s mad at you. (No explanation needed.)
Me: Never loan cell phone to son who doesn’t check pockets before washing.
Me: Never ask your aunt, who hasn’t said the word sex, thought about sex, or had sex in twenty years, what she thought of your romance novel.
Hubby: Never ever, under any circumstances, ask your wife what happened to her eyebrows.
Okay…so there you have it. Some of the life lessons we have learned at the Craig house. What about you guys? Any lessons you could share? Come on, I shared.
Crime Scene Christie