Back from Beyond

Good morning, everyone! Long time no blogging.

I've missed my Monday morning blogging but have been too busy to talk. I'm going to share with everyone this morning why I've been absent because I think the message is an important one - especially for women.

At the beginning of January, I discovered my husband was having an affair. For someone who writes romance because I believe in happily ever after, this was the harshest blow imaginable. I was devoted to my husband, our marriage and our future. I offered him the chance for marriage counseling and repair, but he refused. So I made plans to erase the last 11 years of my life and replan the next 40. For three weeks I packed and cried and tried to imagine a life completely different from the one I had planned. On 2/1, I moved into a new house in a new town and everything in my life (except for some furniture, a dog and a cat) was completely changed.

The changes were hard - the hardest thing I've ever done. I still loved my husband. I wanted my life back. I was scared of a future alone - a future I didn't want. I was devastated that the man I loved so much could be so cruel. But despite all of that - one truth remained - the most important truth of all:

I deserved better.

I want you all to pay close attention to those words, because they apply to anyone who ever finds themselves in this abhorrent position. You deserve better. No one deserves being betrayed by the one person they placed the most trust in. No one deserves a marriage looking over their shoulder or living in fear that one day he'll leave. You deserve it all!

Despite everything that has happened, I still believe in romance and love and happily ever after. I just haven't met my Hero yet, but he's out there. As the weeks pass, things slowly get better, easier to deal with and I'm finally starting to find a routine with my new life. I'm painting and decorating my new house in colors I love - all very girly and turquoise and very serene. I'm reading, sleeping, watching tv when I want and enjoying making all those decisions myself. I'm hanging out with girlfriends and playing/walking with my dog. Most importantly, I'm starting to live again.

My final message is to the other woman - S.H. in Mendenhall, MS:

You are a homewrecker and a whore. I'm not sure what is wrong with you that you can't do better than someone else's husband, and I don't care. You get to live with your own actions. I also want you to know the following -My husband and I were married in every way until I decided to leave. That sentence has two very important words in it - My husband and I were married in "every" way until "I" decided to leave. I'm also the one who filed for divorce. And finally, last Wednesday night he asked me to come back to him, stated that he'd made a mistake, loved me and couldn't live without me. But don't worry, I turned down that offer. He's all yours. And what a prize you have.

On a more positive note, I've lost 40 pounds so far and am not stopping now. So if anyone knows a good ole boy with a bass boat, I might just be looking for a date.

Deadly (soon to be divorced) DeLeon